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Why God made Mums - BRILLIANT

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions !!!

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He Just used bigger parts.

 What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mum?

1.We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mums like me.

What kind of little girl was your mum?

1. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year?
4. Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mum marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than  dad.

What's the difference between mums & dads?

1. Mums work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but mums have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mum do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
 

Why God Created Children (And In The Process Grandchildren)

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit?
We have forbidden fruit?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!"
" No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit! " said God.
“Why?"
Because I am your Father and I said so! "
God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
“ Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? " God asked.
“ Uh huh," Adam replied.
“ Then why did you? " said the Father.
“ I don't know," said Eve.
“ She started it! "Adam said.
“ Did not! "
“ Did too! "
“ DID NOT! "

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your nursing home one day

And Finally: If You ! Have A Lot Of Tension And You Get A Headache, Do What It Says On The Aspirin Bottle:

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards  sitting in her front yard.
She did not recognize them. She said "I don't  think I know you, but you must be hungry.
Please come in and have something to eat."
"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.
No", she replied. "He's out." "Then we cannot come in", they replied.

 In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.

"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"
The woman went out and invited the men in"
"We do not go into a House together," they replied.
Why is that?" she asked.

One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends,
and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am  Love."
Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said.
Her husband was overjoyed.
"How nice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth.
Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"
His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"

Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house.
She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love?
Our home will then be filled with love!"
"Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife.
"Go out and invite Love to be our guest."
The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love?
Please come in and be our guest."
Love got up and started walking toward the house.
The other 2 also got up and followed him.
Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!"
 

 MY WISH FOR YOU...

Where there is pain, I wish you peace and mercy.
Where there is self-doubting, I wish you a renewed confidence in your ability to work through it.
Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I wish you understanding, patience, and renewed strength.
Where there is fear, I wish you love, and courage.
 

GLASS OF MILK

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.

He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it so slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?"

"You don't owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness."
He said ... "Then I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit..

Many year's later that same young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.

Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation.
When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes.
Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.
Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once.
He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to her case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won.

Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. Tears of joy flooded her eyes as  she read the words .. 

"Paid in full with one glass of milk"
(Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.
 

Never, put your banana in the refrigerator!!!
This is interesting. After reading this, you'll never look at a banana in the same way again.
Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fibre.

A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.
Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout.

No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes.
But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit.

It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.
 
Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and genre ally make you feel happier.

PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anaemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of haemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anaemia.

Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
 
Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation: High in fibre, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey.The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
 
Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.
 
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
 
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.

Smoking & Tobacco Use: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance.When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Strokes: According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine, eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart,with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals.

It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!" 

Bananas must be the reason monkeys are so happy all the time!

I will add one here; want a quick shine on our shoes??
Take the INSIDE of the banana skin, and rub directly on the shoe...polish with dry cloth. Amazing fruit!
 

THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM

Two travelling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guestroom. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem."

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears.  Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field. The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused. The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die.

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn’t find it."

"Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."

Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You might not know it until some time later...

Some people come into our lives and quickly go…

Some people become friends and stay awhile...
leaving beautiful footprints on our hearts...    
and we are never quite the same because we have made a good friend!!

Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present!
I think this life is special...live and savour every moment...

This is not a dress rehearsal!
 

Why, Why, Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father- in-law jokes?

And my FAVOURITE...... 
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you!
 

Old age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be.
Oh, not my body! sometime despair over my body ... the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt.

And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 a.m., and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and  will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set.

They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten ... and I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken.

How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

I can say "no", and mean it. I can say "yes", and mean it.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive.
You care less about what other people think.

I don't question myself anymore.
I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old.

It has set me free.

I like the person I have become.

I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here,

I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.
And I shall eat dessert every single day.

Author unknown
 

The new baby was going to be a girl, and day after day, night after night,
Michael sang to his sister in Mommy's tummy.

He was building a bond of love with his little sister before he even met her.
The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen, an active member
of the Panther Creek United Methodist Church in Morristown,
Tennessee. In time, the labor pains came.

Soon it was every five minutes, every three, every minute. But serious complications
arose during delivery and Karen found herself in hours of labor.

Would a C-section be required?
Finally, after a long struggle, Michael's little sister was born.

But she was in very serious condition.

With a siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushed the infant to the neonatal
intensive care unit at St. Mary's Hospital, Knoxville, Tennessee.

The days inched by. The little girl got worse.
The pediatrician had to tell the parents there is very little hope.
Be prepared for the worst.
Karen and her husband contacted a local cemetery about a burial plot.
They had fixed up a special room in their house for their new
baby but now they found themselves having to plan for a funeral.

Michael, however, kept begging his parents to let him see his sister.

I want to sing to her, he kept saying.
Week two in intensive care looked as if a funeral would come before the week was over.

Michael kept nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are never allowed in Intensive Care.

Karen decided to take Michael whether they liked it or not.

If he didn't see his sister right then, he may never see her alive.

She dressed him in an oversized scrub suit and marched him into ICU.
He looked like a walking laundry basket.

The head nurse recognized him as a child and bellowed

"Get that kid out of here now. No children are allowed."

The mother rose up strong in Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glared steel-eyed
right into the head nurse's face, her lips a firm line.
"He is not leaving until he sings to his sister" she stated.

Then Karen towed Michael to his sister's bedside.

He gazed at the tiny infant losing the battle to live.
After a moment, he began to sing.

In the pure-hearted voice of a 3-year-old, Michael sang:

 "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,
you make me happy when skies are gray."
Instantly the baby girl seemed to respond.

The pulse rate began to calm down and become steady.
"Keep on singing, Michael," encouraged Karen with tears in her eyes.

"You never know, dear, how much I love you,
please don't take my sunshine away."

As Michael sang to his sister, the baby's ragged, strained
breathing became as smooth as a kitten's purr.

"Keep on singing, sweetheart."

"The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms".

Michael's little sister began to relax as rest, healing rest, seemed to sweep over her.

Keep on singing, Michael."
Tears had now conquered the face of the bossy head nurse.
Karen glowed.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
Please don't take my sunshine away..."

The next, day...the very next day...the little girl was well enough to go home.

Woman's Day Magazine called it The Miracle of a Brother's Song.

The medical staff just called it a miracle.
Karen called it a miracle of God's love.

NEVER GIVE UP ON THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE.
LOVE IS SO INCREDIBLY POWERFUL.
Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don't
matter, and those that matter don't mind. -- Dr. Seuss
 

Only the classic, " Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."

Perhaps that's the way it is with God.
What we can accomplish on our own is hardly noteworthy.
We try our best, but the results aren't always graceful flowing music.  

However, with the hand of the Master, our life's  work can truly be beautiful.

The next time you set out to accomplish great feats, listen carefully.  You may hear the voice of the Master, whispering in your ear,"Don't quit." "Keep playing."  

May you feel His arms around you and know that His hands are there, helping you turn your feeble attempts into true masterpieces.

Remember, God doesn't  seem to call the equipped, rather, He equips  the 'called.'

Life is more accurately measured by the lives you touch than by the things you acquire.
So touch someone by passing this little message along. May God bless you and be with you always!  
 

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. 
He then asked the students if the jar was full? 
They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. 
He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. 
They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. 
Of course, the sand filled up everything else. 
He asked once more if the jar was full. 
The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. 
The students laughed. 
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. 

The golf balls are the important things; your family, your health, your children, your friends, your favourite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. 

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else - the small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued,

"there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. 
The same goes for life. 
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. 
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. 
Play with your children. 
Take time to get medical checkups. 
Take your partner out to dinner. 
Play another 18. 
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. 
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."
 

If you wish to send this on to everyone special in your life, even the people who really make you mad sometimes and to the people whose lives you want to be in!!!
If you wish you can send it back to the person who sent it to you if they mean  something to you!! Remember, every minute spent angry is sixty  seconds of happiness wasted.
 

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during the particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years ago.

Because both had jobs, they found it difficult coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day.

Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. In his room there was a computer, so he decided to send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis.

However, he accidentally left out one letter in her address, and sent the e-mail without realizing his error.

In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. The dearly departed was a minister of many years who had been called home to glory following a heart attack.

The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Arrived.

I know you are surprised to hear from me.
They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones.
I've just arrived and have been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

PS: Sure is hot down here
 

Heaven's Grocery Store

As I was walking down life's highway many years ago
I came upon a sign that read Heavens Grocery Store.

When I got a little closer the doors swung open wide
And when I came to myself I was standing inside.

I saw a host of angels. They were standing everywhere
One handed me a basket and said "My child shop with care."

Everything a human needed was in that grocery store
And what you could not carry you could come back for more

First I got some Patience. Love was in that same row.
Further down was Understanding, you need that everywhere you go.

I got a box or two of Wisdom and Faith a bag or two.
And Charity of course I would need some of that too.

I couldn't miss the Holy Ghost It was all over the place.
And then some Strength and Courage to help me run this race.

My basket was getting full but I remembered I needed Grace,
And then I chose Salvation for Salvation was for free

I tried to get enough of that to do for you and me
Then I started to the counter to pay my grocery bill,

For I thought I had everything to do the Masters will.
As I went up the aisle I saw Prayer and put that in,

For I knew when I stepped outside I would run into sin.
Peace and Joy were plentiful, the last things on the shelf.

Song and Praise were hanging near so I just helped myself.
Then I said to the angel "Now how much do I owe?"

He smiled and said "Just take them everywhere you go."
Again I asked "Really now, How much do I owe?"

"My child" he said, "God paid your bill a long long time ago.
 

Life story in four verses

Verse 1
A man was walking down the sidewalk and fell into a large hole in the sidewalk - he immediately yelled out "Who pushed me into this hole!"

Verse 2
Later, the same man was walking down the same sidewalk and fell once again into the same hole he wondered "Who would have pushed me into this hole?"

Verse 3
Later, the same man walked down the same sidewalk and fell into the same hole - he questioned "Why did I cause myself to fall into this hole."

Verse 4
Later, the same man walked down the same sidewalk, he saw the hole and crossed the street and walked up the other sidewalk.
 

If I knew it would be the last time That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute to stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be t! he last time I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance to make everything just right.
There will always be another day to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do?"But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear, 
tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear
Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay. 
"And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.
 

Seems God was just about done with creating the universe but he had two extra things left over in his bag so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve.
He told them that one of the things he had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up. "It's a very handy thing," God told them,"and I was wondering if either one of you would like that."
Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that. It seems just the sort of thing a man should be able to do. 
Please. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me." On and on he went like an excited little boy.
So Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he should have it. So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee while standing up and he was so excited. He whizzed on the bark of a tree and then went off to write his name in the sand, laughing with delight all the while.
God and Eve watched him for a moment and then God said to Eve, "Well, here's the other thing and I guess you can have it."
"What's it called?" Eve asked.
"Brains" God said.
 

A successful female executive stood before the Pearly Gates, facing St. Peter himself. "Strange," mused St. Peter, "we've never had an executive make it this far before. I'm not sure what to do with you.
While I think it over, I'll let you experience a day here and a day in Hell."
So the female exec spent an entire day lounging on clouds, playing the harp, having intelligent civilized discussions with great philosophers. Her 24 hours passed quickly and she was then transported to Hell where the Devil took her to a beautiful country club where she found many of her old friends, dressed to the nines, drinking, joking, laughing, having a great time. They talked old times, played golf, had steak and lobster, drank Champagne and danced till dawn.
Before she knew it, her 24 hours was up and she was back at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, "I've considered your placement, and decided I'll just let you choose where you wish to spend eternity."
She thought only briefly before she replied. "Well, Heaven was nice, but, no offence, I had a great time in Hell." And back down she went. But this time she found herself in a desolate wasteland covered with garbage. Her friends were still there, but now they were dressed in rags, picking up garbage and carrying it from one pile to another.
"Wait a minute," stammered the woman to the Devil,
"I don't understand. Yesterday when I was here, there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and drank Champagne and we danced the night away, having a wonderful time. Now everyone's slaving away hovelling garbage."
The Devil looked at her and smiled. "Yesterday we were recruiting you. Today, you're staff!"
 

I dared to dream a burning dream,
Of sounds unheard, of sights unseen;
A drum that tapped a different beat,
A growing flame, a burning heat.

I dared to stand when others bent.
I dared to go where no one went.
I raised my head above the cloud,
I took a breath and cried aloud"

Ï want to be a better me,
To be the best that I can be.
I want to walk beneath the sun
And do the things I've left undone."

I took a step and then one more,
I spread my wings, prepared to soar.
Some held me back. They though me made,
Crazy, reckless, maybe bad.

But I kept my eyes upon my dream,
That sound unheard, that sight unseen,
And helping hands reached down for me,
To lift me up, to set me free.

New friends saw what I could see,
Said "Be the best, that you can be!
You can do it! We're proud of you!"
So I spread my wings and then... I flew.

Author unknown
 

These are actual clippings from church newspapers. It's amazing what a little proofreading would've prevented.

The church is starting a New Young Mother's Group. Anyone desiring to be a new young Mother is to meet with the pastor in his office.

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at The Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the school recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill "Christ the King".

Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water". The sermon tonight will be: "Searching for Jesus"

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy."

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you, and hopefully they will respond.

Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoy sinning to join the choir.

Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to help cripple children.

The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person (s) you want remembered.

Attend this meeting and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P. M. ... prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off old clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 P. M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM, Please use the back door

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement on Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.

Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.

AND THE BEST FOR LAST, .......

*** The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Now Up Yours."
 

A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin.
The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might.
So, this the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down; his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all of his might.
Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.
Since the man was showing signs of discouragement, Satan decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the weary mind: "you have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn' t moved."
Thus, giving the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man. "Why kill myself over this?" he thought! "I'll just put in my time, giving just the minimum effort; and that will be goo enough."
And that is what he planned to do, until one day he decided to make it a matter of prayer and take his troubled thoughts to the Lord. 
"Lord," he said, "I have labored long and hard in your service, using all my strength to do that which you have asked.
Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter.
What is wrong? Why am I failing?" The Lord responded compassionately,
"My friend, when I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all of you strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it.
Your task was to push.
And now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much, and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. Yet you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom.
This you have done. Now, my friend, I will now move the rock."
At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is just a simple obedience and faith in Him. By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that i is still God who moves mountains.
When everything seems to go wrong . . . . just P.U.S.H.!
When the job gets you down . . . . just P.U.S.H.!
When people don't react the way you think they should ...just P.U.S.H.!
When your money looks "gone" and the bills are due . .  ...just P.U.S.H!
When people just don't understand you . . just P.U.S.H.!

P= Pray 
U= Until
S= Something
H= Happens

Pass this on to all the love ones and friends who may need it, they may get it just in time.
 

Mature love: I need you because I love you
Immature love: I love you because I need you - Author unknown
 

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If God had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
God sends you flowers every spring.
God sends you a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk,
God listens.
God can live anywhere in the universe, but God chose . . . your heart.
Face it friend, God is crazy about you!
God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but God did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, light for the way.

Send this to every "beautiful person" you wish to bless.
Return it to the person who sent it to you.

At a Chush fundraising dinner, the father of a Chush child delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he cried out, "Where is the perfection  in my son Shaya? Everything God does is done with perfection. But my child cannot understand things as other children do. My child cannot remember facts and figures as other children do. Where is God's perfection?"

The audience was shocked by the question, pained by the father's anguish and stilled by the piercing query. "I believe," the father answered, "that when God brings a child like this into the world, the perfection that he seeks is in the way people react to this child."He then told the following story about his son, Shaya:

One afternoon, Shaya and his father walked past a park where some boys Shaya knew were playing baseball. Shaya asked, "Do you think they will let me play?"  Shaya's father knew that his son was not at all athletic and that most boys would not want him on their team. But Shaya's father understood that if his son was chosen to play it would give him a comfortable sense of belonging.

Shaya's father approached one of the boys in the field and asked if Shaya could play. The boy looked around for guidance from his teammates. Getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said "We are losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him up to bat in the ninth inning."

Shaya's father was ecstatic as Shaya smiled broadly. Shaya was told to put on a glove and go out to play short center field. In the bottom of the eight inning, Shaya's team scored a few runs but was still behind by  three.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shaya's team scored again and now with two outs and the bases loaded with the potential winning run on base. Shaya was scheduled to be up. 
Would the team actually let Shaya bat at this juncture and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shaya was given the bat. Everyone knew that it was all but impossible because Shaya didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, let alone hit with it. However as Shaya stepped up to the plate, the Pitcher moved a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shaya should at least be able to make contact.

The first pitch came and Shaya swung clumsily and missed. One of Shaya's teammates came up to Shaya and together they held the bat and faced the pitcher waiting for the next pitch. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly toward Shaya. As the pitch came in, Shaya and his teammate swung at the ball and together they hit a slow ground ball  to the pitcher. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could easily have thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shaya would have been out and that would have ended the game. Instead, the pitcher took the ball and threw it on a high arc to right field, far beyond reach of the first baseman.

Everyone started yelling, "Shaya, run to first. Run to first."Never in his  life had Shaya run to first. He scampered down the baseline wide-eyed and startled. By the time he reached first base, the right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second baseman who would tag out Shaya, who was still running.

But the right fielder understood what the pitcher's intentions were, so he threw the ball high and far over the Third baseman's head. Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second." Shaya ran towards second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases towards home. As Shaya reached second base, the opposing short stop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base and shouted, "Run to third."

As Shaya rounded third, the boys from both teams ran behind him screaming, "Shaya run home." Shaya ran home, stepped on home plate and all 18 boys lifted him on their shoulders and made him the hero, as he had just hit a "grand slam" and won the game for his team.

"That day," said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "those 18 boys reached their level of God's perfection."

Funny how simple it is for people to trash different ways of living and believing and then wonder why the world is going to hell. Funny how we can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when we start sending messages regarding life choices, people think twice about sharing.

Funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but the public discussion of morality is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Funny isn't it?

Funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them. Funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what I think of me.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more "I love you's." More "I'm sorry's."
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it ... live it ... and never give it back
Stop sweating the small stuff.
Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. 
Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.
Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with. 
And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally, as well as spiritually. 
Life is too short to let it pass you by. We only have one shot at this and then it's gone.

Age 3: She looks at herself and sees a Queen.
Age 8: She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.
Age 15: She looks at herself and sees an Ugly Sister (Mum I can't go to school looking like this!)
Age 20: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly"- but decides she's going out anyway.
Age 30: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" - but decides she doesn't have time to fix it, so she's going out anyway.
Age 40: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" - but says, "At least, I am "clean" and goes out anyway.
Age 50: She looks at herself and sees "I am" and goes wherever she wants to go.
Age 60: She looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the world.
Age 70: She looks at herself & sees wisdom, laughter and ability, goes out and enjoys life.
Age 80: Doesn't bother to look. Just puts on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with the world.
Send this on to all the women you are grateful to have as friends.
Maybe we should all grab that purple hat earlier.

On Nov. 18, 1995, Itzhak Perlman, the violinist, came on stage to give a concert at Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Centre in New York City. If you have ever been to a Perlman Concert, you know that getting on stage is no small achievement for him. He was stricken with polio as a child, and so he has braces on both legs and walks with the aid of two crutches.

To see him walk across the stage one step at a time, painfully and slowly, is an unforgettable sight. He walks painfully, yet majestically, until he reaches his chair. Then he sits down, slowly, puts his crutches on the floor, undoes the clasps on his legs, tucks one foot back and extends the other foot forward. Then he bends down and picks up the violin, puts it under his chin, nods to the conductor and proceeds to play. By now, the audience is used to this ritual.

They sit quietly while he makes his way across the stage to his chair. They remain reverently silent while he undoes the clasps on his legs. They wait until he is ready to play. But this time, something went wrong. Just as he finished the first few bars, one of the strings on his violin broke. You could hear it snap - it went off like gunfire across the room.

There was no mistaking what that sound meant. There was no mistaking what he had to do.

People who were there that night thought to themselves: "We figured that he would have to get up, put on the clasps again, pick up the crutches and limp his way off stage - to either find another violin or else find another string for this one." But he didn't. Instead, he waited a moment, closed his eyes and then signalled the conductor to begin again.

The orchestra began, and he played from where he had left off. And he played with such passion and such power and such purity as they had never heard before. Of course, anyone knows that it is impossible to play a symphonic work with just three strings. I know that, and you know that, but that night Itzhak Perlman refused to know that.

You could see him modulating, changing, recomposing the piece in his head. At one point, it sounded like he was de-tuning the strings to get new sounds from them that they had never made before.

When he finished, there was an awesome silence in the room. And then people rose and cheered. There was an extraordinary outburst of applause from every corner of the auditorium. We were all on our feet, screaming and cheering, doing everything we could to show how much we appreciated what he had done. He smiled, wiped the sweat from this brow, raised his bow to quiet us, and then he said, not boastfully, but in a quiet, pensive, reverent tone,

"You know, sometimes it is the artist's task to find out how much music you can still make with what you have left."

What a powerful line that is. It has stayed in my mind ever since I heard it. And who knows? Perhaps that is the way of life - not just for artists but for all of us.

So, perhaps our task in this shaky, fast-changing, bewildering world in which we live is to make music, at first with all that we have, and then, when that is no longer possible, to make music with what we have left.

Jack Riemer, Houston Chronicle

Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. 
She said: "How is my little boy? 
Is he going to be alright? 
When can I see him?
" The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it.
" Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer. Doesn't God care any more? 
Where were you, God, when my son needed you?
" The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son? 
One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university".
Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good-bye to her son. 
She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair.
"Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes.
The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.
The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the university for study. 
He said it might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 
"Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. 
Always thinking of someone else.
Always wanting to help others if he could
". Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car. 
The drive home was difficult.
It was even harder to enter the empty house. 
She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. She started placing the model cars, and other personal things, back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. 
The letter said: 
"Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say I LOVE YOU. 
I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. "Some day we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. 
He can have my room, and old stuff to play with. "But if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, y'know. 
"Don't be sad thinking about me. 
This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything.
"The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. 
And, you know what?
Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was him. "Jesus himself took me to see GOD! 
And guess what, Mom? 
I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important.
That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good-bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. 
"Well, y'know what, Mom? 
God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. 
I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you.
God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him --
'Where was He when I needed him?' 
"God said he was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. 
He was right there, as He always is with all His children.
"Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you.
To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool?
"I have to give God His pen back now. 
He needs it to write some more names in the Book Of Life.
Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. 
I'm sure the food will be great. "Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. 
I don't hurt anymore. 
The cancer is all gone. 
I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore...
and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either.
That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. 
The Angel said I was Special Delivery! How about that?

"Signed with Love from: God, Jesus & Me.
 

Throw out non-essential numbers. 
This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctor worry about them. 
That is why you pay him/her. 
Keep only cheerful friends. 
The grouches pull you down. 
If you really need a grouch, there are probably a few dozen of your relatives to do the job.

Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening...whatever.

Just never let the brain idle.
Enjoy the simple things. When the children are young... that is all that you can afford. 
When they are in college... that is all that you can afford.
When they are grown and you are on retirement... that is all that you can afford!

Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. 
Laugh so much that you can be tracked in the store by your distinctive laughter.

The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. 
The only person who is with us our entire life is ... ourselves.

Surround yourself with what you love, whether it is family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies ... whatever. Your home is your refuge.

Cherish your health. If it is good ... preserve it. 
If it is unstable ... improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve ... get help.

Don't take guilt trips. Go to the mall, the next county, a foreign country... but not guilt. 
Tell the people you love, that you love them ...at every opportunity.

Remember ...

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
 

Pay attention to what you read. After you read this, you will know the reason it was sent to you! People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON. . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

Stop here and just SMILE if you don't want to do this last part:

1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique.
9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
 

'" Lord please forgive me ? cried Noah. " I did my best, but there were big problems.
First, I had to to get a permit for construction and your plans did not meet specifications. I had to hire an engineering company to redraw them.
" Then I got into a fight with Occupational Safety people over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system and floatation devices."
" Then my neighbour objected, claiming I was violating by-laws by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from Town Planning. "
" Then I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl
I finally convinced the Forestry Department that I needed the wood to save the Owls. However, The Department of Environmental Affairs won't let me catch any Owls. "
" The carpenters went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the builders Federation before anyone would pick up a saw or hammer. "
" Then I got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me only taking two of each kind aboard.
" When their objections were finally dismissed, the Department of Environment notified me that I could not complete the Ark, without filing an environment impact assessment on your proposed flood "
" They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the universe."
" Then the city engineer demanded a map of the proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe."
" The Australian Tax office has seized my assets, claiming that I'm building the Ark in preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes."
" I just got a notice from the Licensing Department that I owe them some kind of tax, having failed to register teh Ark as a recreational watercraft."
And you thought you had it tough ???... Hang in there   Brian Andrews 17 / 10 / 01
 

Who has the most joy: 
The woman who loves the sound of children or the woman who needs the sound of praise

Who is loved the most: 
The child who is allowed to be free in their thoughts and sense of being or the child who is always being told continually how to think and behave. I guess the answer to this is up to you. - Terry Keene 2001
 

He healed me - that's all the proof I need.

The Word of God (The Bible) tells me that no one comes to GOD except through His Son JESUS. GOD does not lie - I'm praying for you guys. God Bless you.  Gary ( East London, South Africa) 6 / 10 / 01
 

We need to treat our children a lot more kinder, it upsets me so much when I am out in public and I hear the way parents speak to their children as if they are a bother, and the way teachers and educators treat children in schools, they are always saying to respect your elders, but they need to give respect before they will get it back. parents are the first teachers and we instill good morals and values on to them and raise their self esteem, only to have it beaten down when teachers call them dumb and stupid or yell at them, especially when they are going through the teenage years when they are very touchy and vulnerable, it can cause a lot of damage. if only people would treat other people how they would like to be treated we would have a happier world. Too many people judge other people by their appearance, this is only because we are bought up that way, you hear people say look at that person how could they do that, for eg: people searching through bins, people that lo!

ok like they live in the park etc, my favourite saying is what's normal everything is normal as long as you are not hurting anybody, its only because society tells us its not normal that we believe this. have more fun and do silly childlike things we will be much happier than worrying about money and what's normal.  Christine Blades 5 / 10 / 01
 

Now – every moment is an experience of life – so to die now or in 40 years time will still make no difference to me except one – I’ll die in the moment and therefore die happy.

So, I figure that if I desire to live happy, die happy then all I need is to be happy – in every moment – my choice. – Terry Keene
 

A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect.

There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen.
The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.

Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine." The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing.

The people stared how can he say his heart is more beautiful, they thought?

The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed.

"You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."

"Yes," said the old man, "Yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you.

You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love - I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared.

"Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges - giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting.

So now do you see what true beauty is?"
The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks.

He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands.

The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart.

It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges. The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man's heart flowed into his.
They embraced and walked away side by side.
How sad it must be to go through life with a whole heart.

Remember . . .

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody is watching.
 

I come back to realising that although I am not able to always be with my children - I am always there for them and that they are greater than the bird - and that I am greater than the tree - I feel better for I know that they are safe and that in the total scheme of things - all is in order and as it is meant to be - faith
 

A thought - TAKE TIME I had a very special teacher in high school many years ago whose husband died suddenly of a heart attack. About a week after his death, she shared some of her insight with a classroom of students. As the late afternoon sunlight came streaming in through the classroom windows and the class was  nearly over, she moved a few things aside on the edge of her desk and sat down there. With a gentle look of reflection on her face, she paused and said, "Before class is over, I would like to share with all of you a thought that is unrelated to class but which I feel is very important. Each of us is put here on earth to learn, share, love, appreciate and give of ourselves. None of us knows when this fantastic experience will end. It can be taken away at any moment. Perhaps this is God's way of telling us that we must make the most out of every single day." Her eyes beginning to water, she went on, "So I would like you all to make me a promise. From now on, on your way to school, or on your way home, find something beautiful to notice. It doesn't have to be something you see. 
It could be a scent, perhaps of freshly baked bread wafting out of someone's house, or it could be the sound of the breeze slightly rustling the leaves in the trees, or the way the morning light catches one autumn leaf as it falls gently to the ground. 
Please, look for these things and cherish them. For, although it may sound trite to some, these things are the "stuff" of life. The little things we are put here on earth to enjoy. The things we often take for granted. We must make it important to notice them, for at any time ... it can all be taken away."
The class was completely quiet. We all picked up our books and filed out of the room silently. That afternoon, I noticed more things on my way home from school than I had that whole semester. Every once in a while, I think of that teacher and remember what an impression she made on all of us, and I try to appreciate all of those things that sometimes we all overlook.
Take notice of something special you see on your lunch hour today. Go barefoot. Or walk on the beach at sunset. Stop off on the way home tonight to get a double-dip ice cream cone. For as we get older, it is not the things we did that we often regret, but the things we didn't do.
 

Because someday in life you will have been all of these.

--George Washington Carver
 

Charles Plumb, a U.S. Naval Academy graduate, was a jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience.

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk, You were shot down!" 
"How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb.
"I packed your parachute," the man replied.

Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, "I guess it worked!"
Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today."

Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb says, "I kept wondering what he might have looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat, a bib in the back, and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said

"Good morning, How are you?" or anything because, you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor.

Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent on a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn't know.

Now, Plumb asks his audience, "Who's packing your parachute?"

Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. Plumb also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory ? he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these supports before reaching safety.

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason.

As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognize people who pack your parachute.

I am sending you this as my way of thanking you for your part in packing my parachute!!!
 

If you can start the day without caffeine, 
if you can get along without pep pills, 
if you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, 
if you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it, 
if you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time, 
if you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when, though no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, 
if you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him/her, 
if you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit, 
if you can conquer tension without medical help, 
if you can relax without liquor, 
if you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can honestly say that deep in your heart you have no 
prejudice against creed, color, religion or politics,
Then, my friend, you are ALMOST as good as your dog.
 

If there are enough people in Australia, who put down a religion that isn't mentioned on the census form it becomes a fully recognised and legal religion. It usually takes about 10,000 people to nominate the same religion. It is for this reason that it has been suggested that anyone who does not have a dominant religion to put "Jedi" as their religion.

Send this on to all your friends and tell them to put down "Jedi" on their census form. And remember ......If you are a member of the Jedi religion then you are by default a 'Jedi Knight'.

So If this has been your dream since you were 4 years old.... Do it cos you love Star Wars, If not........... then just do it to annoy people.

"May the Force be with you!"

 "Come in," God said. "So, you would like to interview Me?"
"If you have the time," I said.
God smiled and said: "My time is eternity and is enough to do everything; what questions do you have in mind to ask me?"
I said "What surprises you most about mankind?"
God answered: "That they get bored of being children, are in a rush to grow up, and then long to be children again."
"That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health."
"That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future."
"That they live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived..."
God's hands took mine and we were silent for while and then I asked...
"As a parent, what are some of life's lessons you want your children to learn?"
God replied with a smile:
"To learn that they cannot make anyone love them, what they can do is to let themselves be loved."
"To learn that what is most valuable is not what they have in their lives, but who they have in their lives."
"To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others. All will be judged individually on their own merits, not as a group on a comparison basis."
"To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least."
"To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in persons we love, and that it takes many years to heal them."
"To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness."
"To learn that there are persons that love them dearly, but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings"
"To learn that money can buy everything but happiness."
"To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it totally different."
"To learn that a true friend is someone who knows everything about them. ..and likes them anyway."
"To learn that it is not always enough that they be forgiven by others, but that they have to forgive themselves."
I sat there for awhile enjoying the moment. 
I thanked Him for his time and for all that He has done for me and my family, and He replied,
"Anytime. I'm here 24 hours a day. 
All you have to do is ask for me, and I'll answer."
"People will forget what you said. 
People will forget what you did.  
But people will never forget how you made them feel."
"Thinking of you.....:

PS: Pass it on to someone special in your life....just as we thought of you.

We have to understand in order to be of help. 
We all have pain, but we tend to suppress it, because we don't want it to come up to our living room.
The most important thing is that we need to be understood. 
We need someone to be able to listen to us and to understand us. 
Then we will suffer less. 
But everyone is suffering, and no one wants to listen. 
We don't know how to express ourselves so that people can understand. Because we suffer so much, the way we express our pain hurts other people, and they don't want to listen. 
Listening is a very deep practice. 
You have to empty yourself. 
You have to leave space in order to listen, especially to people we think are our enemies - the ones we believe are making our situation worse. 
When you have shown your capacity for listening and understanding, the other person will begin to listen to you, and you have a chance to tell him or her of our pain, and it's our turn to get healed. 
This is the practice of peace.

Wishing to encourage her young son's progress on the piano, a mother took the small boy to a Paderewski concert. After they were seated, the mother spotted a friend in the audience and walked down the aisle to greet her. Seizing the opportunity to explore the wonders of the concert hall, the little boy rose and eventually explored his way through a door marked 
"NO ADMITTANCE."
When the house lights dimmed and the concert was about to begin, the mother returned to her seat and discovered that her son was missing. 
Suddenly, the curtains parted and spotlights focused on the impressive Steinway on stage. In horror, the mother saw her little boy sitting at the keyboard, innocently picking out "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."
At that moment, the great piano master made his entrance, quickly moved to the piano, and whispered in the boy's ear, 
"Don't quit", "Keep playing."
Then leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand and began filling in a bass part. Soon his right arm reached around to the other side of the child and he added a running obligatio.
Together, the old master and the young novice transformed a frightening situation into a wonderfully creative experience. 
The audience was mesmerized. 
That's the way it is with God. 
What we can accomplish on our own is hardly noteworthy. 
We try our best, but the results aren't exactly graceful flowing music. 
But with the hand of the Master, our life's work truly can be beautiful. 
Next time you set out to accomplish great feats, listen carefully. 
You can hear the voice of the Master, whispering in your ear, 
"Don't quit." "Keep playing."

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master's house. 
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. 
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. 
After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. 
"I am ashamed of myself, and want to apologize to you."
"Why?" asked the bearer. 
"What are you ashamed of?"
"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said. 
The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." 
Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure. 
The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? 
That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. 
For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Moral: 
Each of us has our own unique flaws. 
We're all cracked pots. 
But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. 
You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them. 
There is a lot of good out there. 
There is a lot of good in you!

The Eastern religions emphasised the effects on consciousness itself the experience of lightness a sense of one ness with the universe.
The release of the ego's desires, and  certain detachment.

Islam emphasised the feeling of unity that comes with sharing this experience with others and the power inherent in group action

Judaism emphasised the importance of a tradition based on this connection, of the experience of feeling chosen, and that each person alive is responsible for pushing forward the evolution of human spirituality

Christianity was emphasizing the idea that the spirit manifests in human beings not just as an increased awareness of being part of God but also as a higher self - as though we become an expanded version of who we are, more complete capable, with an inner guidance and wisdom leading us to act, as if the human personality of God, the Christ, was now looking through our eyes.

Remember that each of us has been given a special gift just for entering - so you are already a winner.

The most powerful tool on the planet today is TellAvision. That is where I tell a vision to you and you tell a vision to me. Tat we if we don't like the programming we are getting, we can simply change the channel.

Life is like photography. You use the negative to develop.

It is true. As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts, thought particles tend to get caught between the ears, causing a condition  called tooth decay. So be sure to use mental floss twice a day. And when your tempted to practice tantrum yoga, remember what we teach in swami's Absurbness Training class: " Don't get even get Odd. "

If we want world peace, we must let go of attachments and truly live like nomads. That's where I no mad at you, you no mad at me. that way, there'll surely be nomadness on the planet. And peace begins with each of us. A little peace here, a little peace there, pretty soon all the peaces will fit together to make one big peace everywhere.

I know great earth changes have been predicted for the future, so if you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple. When you find fault, don't dwell on it.

There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet train the world, and we'll never have to change it again.

If you're looking to find the key to the Universe, i have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is: there is no key to the Universe. The good news is : it has been left unlocked.

Finally, everything I have told you is channelled. That way, if you don't like it, its not my fault, And remember, enlightenment is not a bureaucracy. So we don't have to go through channels.

Oh God, lead us from the unreal to the real.
Oh God, lead us from the darkness to the light.
Oh God, lead us from death to immortality.
Shanti, Shanti, Shanti unto all
Oh Lord God almighty, may there be peace in Celestial regions.
May there be peace on earth.
May the waters be appeasing.
May herbs be wholesome, and may trees and plants bring peace to all.
May all beneficent beings bring peace to us.
May thy Vedic law propagate peace all through the world.
May all things be a source of peace to us.
And may thy peace itself, bestow peace on all, and may that peace come to me also

---- The Peace Seeds

May all beings everywhere plagued with sufferings of body and mind quickly be freed from their illness.
May those frightened cease to be afraid,
And may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power
And may the people think of befriending one another.
May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wildernesses –
The children , the aged, the unprotected – be guarded by beneficent celestials,
And may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.

---- The Peace Seeds

We pray to God to eradicate all the misery in the world:
That understanding triumph over ignorance,
That generosity triumph over indifference,
That trust triumph over contempt, and
That truth triumph over falsehood.

---- The Peace Seeds

Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, that we may walk the paths of the Most High.
And we shall beat our swords into ploughshares, and our spears into pruning hooks.
Nation shall not lift up sword against nation ---
Neither shall they learn war any more.
And none shall be afraid, for the mouth of the
Lord of Hosts has spoken.

---- The Peace Seeds

Peace and Universal Love is the essence of the Gospel preached by all the Enlightened Ones.
The lord has preached that equanimity is the dharma.
Forgive do I creatures all,
And let all creatures forgive me.
Unto all have amity, and unto none enmity.
Know that violence is the root cause of all miseries in the world.
Violence, in fact, is the knot of bondage.
" Do not injure any living being ".
This is the eternal, perennial, and unalterable way of spiritual life.
A weapon, howsoever powerful it may be, can always be superseded by a superior one;
But no weapon can, however, be superior to nonviolence and love.

---- The Peace Seeds

Although the people living across the ocean surrounding us,
I believe are all our brothers and sisters,
Why are there constant troubles in this world ?
Why do winds and waves rise in the ocean surrounding us ?
I only earnestly wish that the wind will soon puff away all the clouds which are hanging over the tops of the mountains.

---- The Peace Seeds

Almighty God, the Great Thumb we cannot evade to tie the knot:
The Roaring Thunder that splits mighty trees:
The all – seeing Lord up on high who sees even the footprints 
of an antelope on a rock mass here on Earth.
You are the one who does not hesitate to respond to our call.
You are the cornerstone of peace.

---- The Peace Seeds

O great Spirit of our Ancestors,
I raise my pipe to you.
To your messengers the four winds,
and to Mother Earth who provides for your children.
Give us the wisdom to teach our children
To love, to respect, and to be kind to each other so that they may grow
With peace in mind.
Let us learn to share all good things that
You provide for us all on this Earth.

---- The Peace Seeds

In the name of Allah,
The beneficent, the merciful.
Praise be to the Lord of the Universe who has created us and made us into tribes and nations.
That we may know each other, not that we may despise each other.
If the enemy incline toward peace, do thou also incline towards peace, and trust God, for the Lord is the one that heareth and knoweth all things.
And the servants of God,
Most Gracious are those who walk on the Earth in humility, 
and when we address them, we say " Peace."

---- The Peace Seeds

Be generous in prosperity,
and thankful in adversity.
Be fair in they judgment,
And guarded in thy speech.
Be a lamp unto those who walk
In darkness, and a home to the stranger.
Be eyes to the blind, and a guiding light
Unto the feet of the erring.
Be a breath of life to the body of humankind,
a dew to the soil of the human heart,
And a fruit upon the trees of humility.

---- The Peace Seeds

God adjudges us according to our deeds,
Not the coat that we wear:
That Truth is above everything,
But higher still is truthful living.
Know that we attaineth God when we loveth,
And only that victory
Endures in consequence of which no
One is defeated.

---- The Peace Seeds

Blessed are the Peacemakers, for they shall be known as the Children of God.
But I say to you that hear, love your enemies,
Do good to those who hate you,
Bless those who curse you,
Pray for those who abuse you.
To those who strike you on the cheek,
offer the other also,
And from those who take away your cloak, 
do not withhold your coat as well.
Give to everyone who begs from you, and of those who take away your goods, do not ask them again.
And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them

---- The Peace Seeds

Bibliography 
James F Twyman
Author of " Emissary of Light " My Adventures with the Secret Peacemakers
ISBN 0 7336 0559 1
A Hodder & Stoughton Book 
Published in Australia and New Zealand in 1997
by Hodder Headline Australia Pty Ltd 
10 - 16 South street Rydalmere NSW 2116

Most people find it difficult to acknowledge that the use of directed consciousness is more powerful than the remedies that can be offered for a particular alignment,. The spoken word has greater impact on the blue prints that hold your present personality as well as your physical and emotional imbalances, in place.

The extent of its power as a healing tool is rarely recognised.

you are a channel for devine energy. You are not a " blue print for perfection " You are it. You are not separate from it. You are the all, the source. we all are.

Most people are in bondage to their personality and the ego mechanism that is constructed by their genealogy. The ego mechanism is, however, the " sighting mechanism "through which they begin to realise their true self. The purpose of these rituals is to train the ego so that it can better serve that purpose. Surrender is not enough. You have to be strong enough to be able to stay in the middle of the powerful, buffeting winds of mundane reality, while also being open to the experience of the higher calm. it requires a combination of strength and openness. Remember that the part of you that you will eventually know what you really are will never need any training, any information, and never did.

Ritual 1

To release all negative attachments acquired through sexual intimacy with any other human being other than your mate. Any time there is an exchange of vibratory intimacy associated with sharing bodily fluids ( ie not just sexual intercourse) there is along term, and very deep psychic connection with that person. regardless of where on the planet they are, you are sharing their experiences with them.

Write out in your own handwriting, something like this:

" I now lovingly release all negative energy acquired through sexual intimacy with the following individuals:
(write out as many s you can remember, and then include the statement - this also includes any persons that I may have forgotten.) This allows me to honor my true self, to be more awake, and to feel love for my true life mate. "

Do this in the name of any mentor you may have that represents the name of love and your spiritual devotion if you have one.
Then burn the list.

It is important to name as many people as you can.

Do this ritual with your mate if you have one, although you don't have to show this list to your mate ! That way you are both disconnecting the energy of attachment that stops you being vibrationally awake.
Be very open the next day, rest and drink plenty of water, and ignore anything that comes up in your relationship over the next seven days. Do not make any fundamental decisions about your relationship during this time. You are likely to have some strong reactions about your mate. If you find that fantasies and images of previous relationships keep coming up even after this, it may be worth doing again.

Ritual 2

To release the energy of any unborn child. Whether you are a man or woman,, if you've had an abortion or miscarriage, the child's spiritual entity is still hanging around, and needs to be cleared. forget about feelings of guilt or responsibility in the situation. In terms of you being able to move on, the moral issues are irrelevant. At the point of conception, the child's energy attaches itself to the matrix of the couple, and waits to come in. If the embryo aborts, the energy / entity has nowhere to go, and hangs around looking for same way to be manifested in your energy field.

Give the unborn child a physical name ( eg. Harry or sally) and release it back into the ether, symbolically handing it over to whatever spiritual guardian you may have, or into the hands of love. You don't have to believe it, just do it.

No writing or burning is necessary. Just say it, and its over.

Ritual 3

To release the unconscious connective tissue binding you to the past of your family tree. This ritual is not always necessary for all people, but is particularly useful where you have cause to believe that some transgenerational issue is creating " dis-ease ". The more precise the wording off this ritual is the better. You only have to this once, although you may wish to repeat it if other specific forms of transgenerational control becomes evident.

Do one ritual for the mother's side of the family first. Then wait at least three days and o one for the father's side of the family, but do not wait longer than three weeks.
Example " i now lovingly release all negative mental control from my mother's side of the family, known or unknown to me, for four generations. This now allows me to be free and open, to experience my true self. I do all of this in the name of love ( or whatever represents the spirit of grace to you )
It is helpful if you know the names of all those people in the preceding four generations, and use those names, but it is  not essential. Once you have written it, burn it.

Other specific wordings will be appropriate in different family circumstances and for different illnesses, e.g if there is anger from the mother's side, the ritual should be about that issue rather than mental control. " i now lovingly release all forms of negative emotional control from my mother's side of the family, including anger, abuse, addiction ( whatever is appropriate ), known or unknown to me, for four generations '. The more precise you can get with naming the forms of control, the better. Within three weeks, but preferably more than three days later, do a ritual for the father's side of the family.

If you can see a form of negative control, e.g in your mother, then understand that it is not just her that is doing it. It is her whole side of the family that is controlling you. It is important to include all four generations ending with her.
Also understand there are positive reasons why these influences are in your life, to force you into situations which allow you to be clear and certain of your true self.

Whatever it is that you're are suffering from, God didn't do it to you.

Nothing devine ever sent this to you, it was the unconscious mechanism of the ego trying to access the Infinite by creating social or physiological experiences that would help you to learn what you need to learn. You don't have to learn in this way if you recognise who you are through some other means.

After doing any of these rituals - lie down and be still for the whole of the next day. If you can, be still for three days. You may not feel well as a result of these clearing rituals. Resting will help the energy to shift. After a few days you will feel calmer. After these rituals, stop going back into your past.

Scientists discover 'second brain' in the stomach

Scientists are claiming to have discovered a second brain - in the human stomach. The breakthrough, involving experts in the US and Germany, is believed to play a major part in the way people behave.
This 'second brain' is made up of a knot of brain nerves in the digestive tract. It is thought to involve around 100 billion nerve cells - more than held in the spinal cord.
Researchers believe this belly brain may save information on physical reactions to mental processes and give out signals to influence later decisions. It may also be responsible in the creation of reactions such as joy or sadness. The research is outlined in the latest issue of German science magazine, Geo, in which Professor Wolfgang Prinz, of the Max Planck Institute for Psychological Research in Munich, says the discovery could give a new twist on the old phrase "gut reaction".
He said: "People often follow their gut reactions without even knowing why, its only later that they come up with the logical reason for acting the way they did. But we now believe that there is a lot more to gut feelings than was previously believed."
Professor Prinz thinks the stomach network may be the source for unconscious decisions which the main brain later claims as conscious decisions of its own.
The second brain was rediscovered by Michael Gershorn, of the University of Colombia in New York, after it was forgotten by science. He says it was first documented by a 19th century German neurologist, Leopold Auerbach. 
He discovered two layers of nerve cells near a piece of intestine he was dissecting. After putting them under the microscope he found they were part of a complex network.
Recent research has already raised the idea that many reactions may be made in the stomach. Benjamin Libet, of the University of California found the brains of volunteers asked to raise their arms only registered activity about half a second after the movement had been made. He believes his work implies another part of the body may have been involved in making the decision.

READ These comments and you will see how Satan gets us to believe his lies.

In light of the recent shooting in Massachusetts, let's see, I think it started when Madeline Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body was found recently) complained she didn't want any prayer in our schools, and we said OK.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school.... the Bible that says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said, OK.
Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spocks son committed suicide) And we said, an expert should know what he's talking about we said OK, we won't spank them anymore.

Then someone said teachers and principals better not discipline our children when they misbehave. And the school administrators said no faculty member  in this school better touch a student when they misbehave because we don't want any bad publicity, and we surely don't want to be sued. (There's a big difference between disciplining and touching, beating, smacking, humiliating, kicking, etc.) And we accepted their reasoning.

Then someone said, let's let our daughters have abortions if they want, and they won't even have to tell their parents. And we said, that's a grand idea.

Then some wise school board member said, since boys will be boys and they're going to do it anyway, let's give our sons all the condoms they want, so they can have all the fun they desire, and we won't have to tell their parents they got them at school. And we said, that's another great idea.

Then some of our top elected officials said it doesn't matter what we do in private as long as we do our jobs. And agreeing with them, we said it doesn't matter to me what anyone, including the President, does in private as long as I have a job and the economy is good.
And then someone said let's print magazines with pictures of nude women and call it wholesome, down-to-earth appreciation for the beauty of the female body. And we said we have no problem with that. 

And someone else took that appreciation a step further and published pictures of nude children and then stepped further still by making them available on the internet. And we said they're entitled to their free speech.

And the entertainment industry said, let's make TV shows and movies that promote profanity, violence, and illicit sex. And let's record music that encourages rape, drugs, murder, suicide, and satanic themes. And we said it's just entertainment, it has no adverse effect, and nobody takes it seriously anyway, so go right ahead. Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out.
I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."

Dear God, 
Why didn't you save the little girl in Michigan?

Sincerely, 
Concerned Student

..............................AND THE REPLY

Dear Concerned Student, I am not allowed in schools.

Sincerely, God.

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything the Bible says.
Funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan who, by the way, also "believes" in God. 
Funny how we are quick to judge but not to be judged. 
Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through email and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.
Funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but the public discussion of Jesus is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Funny how someone can be so fired up for Christ on Sunday, but be an invisible Christian the rest of the week.
Are you laughing?
Funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, of what they will think of you for sending it to them.
Funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me.
Are you thinking?
Pass it on if you think it has merit! If not then just discard 
it....no one will ever know what you did, for sure. 
But, if you discard this thought process, then don't sit back and complain about what a bad shape the world is in.....I sent it to everyone on my list

8th December 7:00pm
Ellaways Music Auditorium, Compton Road, Underwood
tickets $50 Available from Radio FM 88

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